It actually feels amazing and scary at the same time. Like, wow. Thirty. 30.
“Hi, oh yes I’m 30.” I feel like that sounds sophisticated, like “yes–I have survived life for thirty whole years don’t f— with me!” I honestly feel wiser. I’ve always looked forward to my 30th birthday because of my mother. When I was younger she told me that a light bulb goes off in your head when you turn 30. I feel like that light bulb has been going off for the past year or so now. 2017 was by far one of the most important years of my life because of growth. I say best worst year of my life actually because I went through a lot of crazy shit. I moved back and forth across the country. Dabbled in other media fields. Tried new things, failed. Tried something else, failed again. I didn’t understand why certain things weren’t going as easy as I expected it too. That all helped me realize that some of those cliche sayings are true. Especially this one,
“It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.”
In my 20’s, it was all about piecing this life together that I had planned. Checking things off of my “life goals” bucket list and keeping it all intact. Ya know, that whole “by time I’m____, I’m going to have this, this and that.” I do believe at one point I wanted a husband, a house and two kids by the time I was 25. Mann am I glad God didn’t have that in his plans! I wasn’t ready and I know that. My career aspirations are so much more top of mind to me than a husband and children right now. I want to have a career in television far more than I want to be a wife. I also realize that I can make that statement because I just haven’t found the one that actually makes me daydream about being a wife. Yes, even at 30. And that is okay. See, now I understand that God always has you right where you are suppose to be. He also gives you exactly what you need-when He knows that you are ready.
So when asked about futuristic things that I can not predict I always answer with, “I want whatever God wants for me, whenever he wants it for me.” You have to reallyyy have faith to mean that statement. Oh no honey, you can’t say you want whatever God wants for you but then ask Him why something else hasn’t happened for you yet as you scroll through facades on Instagram. You can’t get frustrated about where you are in life and count the things you don’t have while overlooking all of your blessings thus far. You have to seriously take your journey day by day. Diligently working towards your goals while striving to be the best version of yourself, everyday. Over and over again. Enjoy your journey. At 30 I can honestly say I’ve been enjoying mine.
“It’s beauty in the struggle nigga.”- J.cole
That’s real. So cheers to me being THIRTY YEARS OLD. THIRTY YEARS WISE. I’ve accomplished so much as a 20-something but I feel like the true glow up is here. So, #TALK2METHIRTY! I’m ready for whatever you throw my way, bitch.