A Day in The Life ...

Dominique Da Diva's Blog

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Put Your Phone Down, Focus & Put The Work In!

 

I’m not sure if people do it because it’s ‘trendy’  but I feel like some people are obsessed with sharing every little bit of their journey so we’re aware that ‘you outchea workin!”

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Don’t get me wrong, posting your grind can be just as much motivation for yourself as it can be to your followers but are you REALLY GRINDIN?

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I remember being soooo inspired by Beyonce’s LEMONADE project and marketing roll out execution because she literally had gone ghost. The #Beyhive was anxiously anticipating for the next Beyonce sighting. A sign from God or something! ‘Omg, she’s about to drop something look at her braids!’ ‘omg, where is Bey? Is new music coming? What is she doing!’

And then BOOM! HBO drops trailer for Lemonade visual premiere. BOOM! Lemonade the visual album is released. BOOM! Tour tickets go on sale. 🐝

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I was left in amazement like, ‘WOW! So THAT’S what she’s been working on!” You can tell she put 110% into that shit!

Starting out, I remember most days my grind was UGLY! I mean some days you may just slap ya hair into a ponytail, throw on some activewear, fresh natural faced, and keep it pushin’. I was so focused on the bigger picture, so busy being a sponge and staying at the radio station late, I didn’t really have time to post to remind people that I was ‘outchea gettin it.’ By graduation they were already aware because I was already on commercial radio. #Results

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I say all that to say; it’s okay to put your head down and focus on your goals. No one can argue with results. When it comes to business, results are all they care about anyway! Furthermore, things fall apart sometimes. Deals aren’t finalized. Budgets get cut. Postponements happen. LIFE. Many people are still fueling their dreams financially with their full time job, juggling parenting and may be too damn tired to post every little thing while trying to balance. Don’t feel obligated. Be mindful of what you decide to share and what you might want to hold on too a little bit longer. The more you share, the more people feel entitled to know. And shit, why shouldn’t they feel that way? You’ve posted yourself in the studio every night for 2 years straight, we wanna hear the got damn mixtape!? Ahaha.

Not the best analogy but you get the picture.

So while ya scrollin’ down Instagram thinking ‘wow, everybody out here gettin’ it! I need to step it up!’ Just know that some of them are pump fakin’ and fishin’ for likes. You just stay persistent on that plan of yours. Share what you’d like but don’t beat yourself up too much about it. Focus on putting the work in because no one can argue with results. 💪🏾

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 I Don’t Trust Girls That Don’t Have Friends, Here’s Why

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I realize I’m very blessed to have childhood best friends in my life and a close circle of female friends who keep everything A1 with me. Not everyone is blessed in that way, but I can’t trust a chick who doesn’t have girlfriends.

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Girlfriend-less women are special breeds. We call them strays. Aimlessly bouncing from clique to clique. Posting photos with the chick(s) she was just poppin’ sh*t about. Opportunist. These type of women have a twisted sense of loyalty and never make genuine connections. It may because they’re manipulative or self-absorbed, or a little bit of both. No matter the issue, they are the common denominator for a reason.

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I don’t know where I would be without my best friends! Seriously!  I’m what you call a “girls girl” so I’m all about screaming Spice Girl lyrics to the top of our lungs with hairbrush microphones in our pajamas type of Girls Trip shit. I literally have like six best girlfriends (five pictured). I admire and love them all the same, just for different reasons. We chat everyday. I have line-sisters or college girlfriends with whom I’m pretty tight with too. All of the friendships I attract all have one thing in common: beautiful girls who are witty, book smart, street smart, independent & knows how to let loose and party!

See, you find out a lot about a person by their circle of friends. Those are the people who can vouch that you’re accountable, trustworthy, dependable and self-less. I just find it hard to trust the type of women who don’t have anyone to vouch for their character.

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Now please do not get this type of woman confused with someone who is a loner and chooses to roll through life solo dolo. That’s different than the I wanna-be-down-like-Brandy type of chick. I recognize that some women may not have many girlfriends because of their past bad experiences with women. I totally get that. But come on, even Oprah has Gale.

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I believe every woman should at least have one close female friend they confide in. Girl time is important! (Some people really don’t know what it is to BE A GOOD FRIEND in the first place, but we’ll go over Girl Code another day!) I get best of both worlds because I am a girls girl and I also work in an industry full of men, which allows me to be the homegirl too. Any chick who’s ever crossed me, literally becomes dead to me. My friendship is too much of an asset to have to question loyalty. I’m not sure why Rihanna and I aren’t real life BFF’s yet but anyway, back to what I was saying…

I don’t do strays boo.

Me and my clique roll tight like The Firm.

Bae ASF Fitness Kit 2018

 

Prepare for the SNATCH mmkay!?

Dieting and fitness works best for me personally when it’s consistent.  Since I’ve been back on the east coast, especially over the holiday season, I’ve enjoyed every bite of my family’s home cooked meals. My great-grandma makes this double chocolate yellow chocolate that I wouldn’t dare pass up.

 

I thoroughly enjoyed every bit of being back home for the holiday with friends and family but now it’s time to get back focused on my body goals. To help with that, I searched Amazon for the following and made what I like to call my BAE ASF Fitness Kit.

Sweet Sweat Waist Trimmer Band to wear while I’m working out to help produce more sweat. I’ve never used a waist trainer corset, only waist sweat bands. They work and this company also sell other products that help produce more sweat.  https://sportsresearch.com/

They sent me one sample of one of their gels- keep ya posted on that.

 

Hydr8 Water Bottle will help me keep track of my water intake. It encourages slow water consumption and all I have to do is finish it twice everyday.

 

Food Planner Magnet to assist with planning out my meals and grocery list. Not only do I eat better when my diet is planned out but keeping the planner on display helps me keep my eye on the grocery list and hold myself accountable for sticking to my diet plan. 

Nutribullet High Speed Blender–  I’ve had a juicer before but everyone speaks so highly of the Nutribullet I’m excited about trying it. I just needed an easier way to get all of my greens, veggies and fruits on a more consistent basis. I’m going to do a quick cleanse too.

 

These are just a few items to keep me on top of my 2018 fitness goals. Just wanted to share for anyone who’s adamant about making their body goals come true this year. I know I am. Every item above is linked for purchases.

Let’s make Summer 2018 be we premiere our best bods yet!

2018: GO BIG!

 

 

I am not the same person I was before 2017 started. I’ve learned some major keys this year that I can’t wait to apply in 2018 and life in general, moving forward.  A few major keys I’m keeping with me:

 

Focus On What You Can Control: Why worry about the things you can’t control when you could instead focus on the things that depend on you? The universe is going to do it’s thing. Let it. There was a point in this year where every week I felt like I was getting bad news. Whatever the case, just keep going. Focus on what you CAN do.

 

Patience: Not gonna lie, I’m very impatient but I’ve gotten much better. I want to blame my impatience on being a true Sagittarius. We’re just very impulsive beings. Learn what works for you. I have a breathing technique. I may say a little prayer. Whatever is going to help me in that moment to not burn that m%thaf#cka down. When it comes to the bigger picture of the journey–THAT’S where my patience comes in. I’ve learned the journey is what it’s all about, not the destination.

 

Pay Attention To Who’s In Your Corner: Living in LA will show you how you could be with the same people every single day but that doesn’t mean you should consider them your friend. The same people that are in my corner are the same ones that’s been there for years and never switched up. Show your gratitude to those people. They keep you grounded.

 

In 2017, I worked as a  social media manager at an agency, had my own show on Dash Radio. Living in Los Angeles allowed me make a lot of connections that I feel will come full circle soon. Earned a spot on Billboard Magazine & Diddy’s 100 Trailblazers list- just to get signed as the only DeLeon Tequila female Ambassador in Washington, D.C a few months later. And alas, getting my  radio show on 93.9 WKYS-DC, the #7 radio market after working in market #42 (Norfolk, VA Beach). Woah dere! WHAT A JUMP!

 

So GO BIG ALL 2018! Because, WHY NOT!?

 

I’ve taken too many risk and learned too many gems to be worried about failure chile. In 2017, I cried over heartbreak, totaled my car, took some loses amongst other disappointments that were only redirecting my focus. There’s a version of me I have to show the world. So in 2018, let’s DO IT BIG DENNN!

 

Happy New Year to you!

DIVA

 

A Vital Note To A Mentee

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Emailing a complete stranger your entire life is awkward okay? Especially when your end goal is to essentially build some sort of professional relationship with them. But more importantly, do you think they really care about all of that? Let’s be frank, they literally have no idea who you are bro. Here are some pointers.

  Don’t ask, Will You Be My Mentor.

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If you have to ask a woman to be your mentor, the answer will probably be no.

Mentorship relationships start with a mutual connection. Mentors often select proteges based on their performance and potential. Not just anybody and everybody in their inbox. Rather, think about ways to excel in your career of choice that will make your brand or work more noticeable to the person you are trying to work with.

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For an example, share some ideas you have on something you see they’re working on or support a cause that’s important to her. Support an event she’s and having a memorable conversation. Find something specific to ask questions about.

Avoid Asking Questions You Can Find Answers Too Yourself

I can personally say this is hella annoying for me. “Where did you go to college? Did you major in Mass Comm? How do I do what you’re doing.”

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When I was younger I would always research the people in the positions I wanted to work in. I couldn’t hop in their DM’s, tweet them or hop on their IG Live. I’d literally research and look for where they grew up, what schools they attended and for what and most times- all of the answers were provided by the world wide web.

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Do your research mann. Come to them with thoughtful questions and be ready to discuss real challenges you’re facing. It will be much easier for them to respond with the insight you are looking for. Be willing to listen to their recommendations and report back to her with your progress. At that point, they’ll probably be more likely to continue to invest in your career.

I hope this bit of insight helps. A small note to a mentee.

Don’t Date Me, I’ll Date You

Are you interested in someone? Do you have a special person? Are you “talking” to someone? Are you dating someone? Are you in a relationship? Shit idk.

 

All I know is I finally feel like I’ve gotten a grip on this whole single, sexy and free thang! So my motto is, don’t date me honey- I’ll date you. First, understand that I am busy. Also, understand that sometimes I’m busy even when it doesn’t look like I’m busy to you. Quality time with myself and self-care is imperative when you’re juggling a demanding career and brand building. If I am into you and for whatever reason I begin to feel like I’m making myself tooooo available for you all of a sudden…then *poof* I’m busy as hell again.

 

Don’t date me. I’ll date you.

 

Everyone dates differently. It’s important to find someone who’s idea of dating matches yours. I’m upfront in the beginning. I was out on a platonic date a few years ago when I received some dating advice that really stuck with me: only give what I’m receiving.

rec·i·proc·i·ty

ˌresəˈpräsədē/

noun

  1. the practice of exchanging things with others for mutual benefit, especially privileges granted by one country or organization to another.

 

 

There was a time where I just wanted to give, give, give. I’ve built this amazing career that has amazing perks and sometimes I just wanted to share my experiences with someone. Anyone. But after a few episodes of singing my own version of Beyonce’s ‘Resentment’, I realized, not everyone deserves that. Even if what it is I’m sharing isn’t a big deal to me personally- it’s still something I should give out exclusively like Willy Wonka’s Golden ticket.

 

So now, don’t date me-I’ll date you.

 

As I say that understand that I am allowing myself to control the tempo as we date but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want him to take control. I think every woman essentially wants someone we can submit too after a long day of being a boss babe. Submission however requires a tremendous amount of trust that you truly have my best interest at heart. Trust that you can lead me into becoming the best version of myself.

 

But most of these guys don’t even know where the hell they’re going most of the time so, don’t date me-I’ll date you. Because I’m currently married to my goals anyway.

Holy F—k, I’m 30 ASF.

It actually feels amazing and scary at the same time. Like, wow. Thirty. 30.

 

“Hi, oh yes I’m 30.” I feel like that sounds sophisticated, like “yes–I have survived life for thirty whole years don’t f— with me!” I honestly feel wiser. I’ve always looked forward to my 30th birthday because of my mother. When I was younger she told me that a light bulb goes off in your head when you turn 30. I feel like that light bulb has been going off for the past year or so now. 2017 was by far one of the most important years of my life because of growth. I say best worst year of my life actually because I went through a lot of crazy shit. I moved back and forth across the country. Dabbled in other media fields. Tried new things, failed. Tried something else, failed again. I didn’t understand why certain things weren’t going as easy as I expected it too. That all helped me realize that some of those cliche sayings are true. Especially this one,

“It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.”

In my 20’s, it was all about piecing this life together that I had planned. Checking things off of my “life goals” bucket list and keeping it all intact. Ya know, that whole “by time I’m____, I’m going to have this, this and that.” I do believe at one point I wanted a husband, a house and two kids by the time I was 25. Mann am I glad God didn’t have that in his plans! I wasn’t ready and I know that. My career aspirations are so much more top of mind to me than a husband and children right now. I want to have a career in television far more than I want to be a wife. I also realize that I can make that statement because I just haven’t found the one that actually makes me daydream about being a wife. Yes, even at 30. And that is okay. See, now I understand that God always has you right where you are suppose to be. He also gives you exactly what you need-when He knows that you are ready.

 

So when asked about futuristic things that I can not predict I always answer with,I want whatever God wants for me, whenever he wants it for me.” You have to reallyyy have faith to mean that statement. Oh no honey, you can’t say you want whatever God wants for you but then ask Him why something else hasn’t happened for you yet as you scroll through facades on Instagram. You can’t get frustrated about where you are in life and count the things you don’t have while overlooking all of your blessings thus far. You have to seriously take your journey day by day. Diligently working towards your goals while striving to be the best version of yourself, everyday. Over and over again. Enjoy your journey. At 30 I can honestly say I’ve been enjoying mine.

 

“It’s beauty in the struggle nigga.”- J.cole

 

That’s real. So cheers to me being THIRTY YEARS OLD. THIRTY YEARS WISE. I’ve accomplished so much as a 20-something but I feel like the true glow up is here. So, #TALK2METHIRTY! I’m ready for whatever you throw my way, bitch.

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