A Day in The Life ...

Dominique Da Diva's Blog

Tag: Diva in the District

A Vital Note To A Mentee

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Emailing a complete stranger your entire life is awkward okay? Especially when your end goal is to essentially build some sort of professional relationship with them. But more importantly, do you think they really care about all of that? Let’s be frank, they literally have no idea who you are bro. Here are some pointers.

  Don’t ask, Will You Be My Mentor.

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If you have to ask a woman to be your mentor, the answer will probably be no.

Mentorship relationships start with a mutual connection. Mentors often select proteges based on their performance and potential. Not just anybody and everybody in their inbox. Rather, think about ways to excel in your career of choice that will make your brand or work more noticeable to the person you are trying to work with.

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For an example, share some ideas you have on something you see they’re working on or support a cause that’s important to her. Support an event she’s and having a memorable conversation. Find something specific to ask questions about.

Avoid Asking Questions You Can Find Answers Too Yourself

I can personally say this is hella annoying for me. “Where did you go to college? Did you major in Mass Comm? How do I do what you’re doing.”

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When I was younger I would always research the people in the positions I wanted to work in. I couldn’t hop in their DM’s, tweet them or hop on their IG Live. I’d literally research and look for where they grew up, what schools they attended and for what and most times- all of the answers were provided by the world wide web.

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Do your research mann. Come to them with thoughtful questions and be ready to discuss real challenges you’re facing. It will be much easier for them to respond with the insight you are looking for. Be willing to listen to their recommendations and report back to her with your progress. At that point, they’ll probably be more likely to continue to invest in your career.

I hope this bit of insight helps. A small note to a mentee.

Don’t Date Me, I’ll Date You

Are you interested in someone? Do you have a special person? Are you “talking” to someone? Are you dating someone? Are you in a relationship? Shit idk.

 

All I know is I finally feel like I’ve gotten a grip on this whole single, sexy and free thang! So my motto is, don’t date me honey- I’ll date you. First, understand that I am busy. Also, understand that sometimes I’m busy even when it doesn’t look like I’m busy to you. Quality time with myself and self-care is imperative when you’re juggling a demanding career and brand building. If I am into you and for whatever reason I begin to feel like I’m making myself tooooo available for you all of a sudden…then *poof* I’m busy as hell again.

 

Don’t date me. I’ll date you.

 

Everyone dates differently. It’s important to find someone who’s idea of dating matches yours. I’m upfront in the beginning. I was out on a platonic date a few years ago when I received some dating advice that really stuck with me: only give what I’m receiving.

rec·i·proc·i·ty

ˌresəˈpräsədē/

noun

  1. the practice of exchanging things with others for mutual benefit, especially privileges granted by one country or organization to another.

 

 

There was a time where I just wanted to give, give, give. I’ve built this amazing career that has amazing perks and sometimes I just wanted to share my experiences with someone. Anyone. But after a few episodes of singing my own version of Beyonce’s ‘Resentment’, I realized, not everyone deserves that. Even if what it is I’m sharing isn’t a big deal to me personally- it’s still something I should give out exclusively like Willy Wonka’s Golden ticket.

 

So now, don’t date me-I’ll date you.

 

As I say that understand that I am allowing myself to control the tempo as we date but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want him to take control. I think every woman essentially wants someone we can submit too after a long day of being a boss babe. Submission however requires a tremendous amount of trust that you truly have my best interest at heart. Trust that you can lead me into becoming the best version of myself.

 

But most of these guys don’t even know where the hell they’re going most of the time so, don’t date me-I’ll date you. Because I’m currently married to my goals anyway.

Holy F—k, I’m 30 ASF.

It actually feels amazing and scary at the same time. Like, wow. Thirty. 30.

 

“Hi, oh yes I’m 30.” I feel like that sounds sophisticated, like “yes–I have survived life for thirty whole years don’t f— with me!” I honestly feel wiser. I’ve always looked forward to my 30th birthday because of my mother. When I was younger she told me that a light bulb goes off in your head when you turn 30. I feel like that light bulb has been going off for the past year or so now. 2017 was by far one of the most important years of my life because of growth. I say best worst year of my life actually because I went through a lot of crazy shit. I moved back and forth across the country. Dabbled in other media fields. Tried new things, failed. Tried something else, failed again. I didn’t understand why certain things weren’t going as easy as I expected it too. That all helped me realize that some of those cliche sayings are true. Especially this one,

“It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.”

In my 20’s, it was all about piecing this life together that I had planned. Checking things off of my “life goals” bucket list and keeping it all intact. Ya know, that whole “by time I’m____, I’m going to have this, this and that.” I do believe at one point I wanted a husband, a house and two kids by the time I was 25. Mann am I glad God didn’t have that in his plans! I wasn’t ready and I know that. My career aspirations are so much more top of mind to me than a husband and children right now. I want to have a career in television far more than I want to be a wife. I also realize that I can make that statement because I just haven’t found the one that actually makes me daydream about being a wife. Yes, even at 30. And that is okay. See, now I understand that God always has you right where you are suppose to be. He also gives you exactly what you need-when He knows that you are ready.

 

So when asked about futuristic things that I can not predict I always answer with,I want whatever God wants for me, whenever he wants it for me.” You have to reallyyy have faith to mean that statement. Oh no honey, you can’t say you want whatever God wants for you but then ask Him why something else hasn’t happened for you yet as you scroll through facades on Instagram. You can’t get frustrated about where you are in life and count the things you don’t have while overlooking all of your blessings thus far. You have to seriously take your journey day by day. Diligently working towards your goals while striving to be the best version of yourself, everyday. Over and over again. Enjoy your journey. At 30 I can honestly say I’ve been enjoying mine.

 

“It’s beauty in the struggle nigga.”- J.cole

 

That’s real. So cheers to me being THIRTY YEARS OLD. THIRTY YEARS WISE. I’ve accomplished so much as a 20-something but I feel like the true glow up is here. So, #TALK2METHIRTY! I’m ready for whatever you throw my way, bitch.